To GROW or not to GROW

Time has passed since I wrote my last words upon this Blog.

To GROW or not to GROW

With time many things have made their mark on how we think.

With the help and support of others, and putting our own efforts into the mix.

Life can take on new meaning and direction.

That’s when I began to go to GROW

Looking for mutual group support and friendship with others who would understand.

I found a group of people who had some similar things to deal with in their life journey.

Yet others had faced even more difficult situations than me.

It helped to be with others who knew the depth of pain

Who understood just how it feels to be so far down the drain.

I could not quite work out why I would not put up my hand to join the ranks of GROW.

The GROWER I could not claim to be.

The more I question my self the more my own brain began to work.

I could see the folly in some people’s words that one can just outgrow the pain.

No need for medication, just use the program and all would be ok.

Some people I am sure can GROW again without such medical intervention.

But alas others just can not even exist within the pain that envelops the spirit.

Without the relief and steadiness of the medication to keep the swinging moods intact.

Then I looked carefully at the 12 Steps of decline which was observed.

They did not speak to me.

These 12 steps seemed to label mental health as a choice one could take.

I never woke up with the desire to be depressed or have an anxiety attack.

All I ever wanted was to be was normal what ever normal could be.

I looked at the 12 Steps of recovery they did not really state the way to go for me.

I found the meeting so confining no time for laughter to relieve the pain.

To smile and have a joke seemed intrusive to some of these.

When I know just how much better I feel when I have had a joke.

A smile and some laughter a touch of the human kind.

GROW has some really great positive reinforcing statements

In those I truly believe.

But not to blame the person for the mental health condition

That holds on to their very being.

I shall think a while on GROW or growth as I can clearly see.

That GROW meetings are not for me.

But where is my next step going to take me.

On the road to growth full me?